Looking Back

April 18, 2012
New York City
Wednesday, Third Day

Anxiety kept on trying to overtake my on me last few days in Upstate New York (5 hours from NYC); where I stayed most of the time. This often come as a result of being unsure of what will reallly happen next. I am a person not very fond of surprises especially when it comes to things that would require responsibility on my part. The thought of it just scares me even though I know that I will get through anyway. The afternoon I took the bus I was struggling with worry if things might not work out; taking two big suitcases in the bus and everything. But at the merge of worrying I was reminded to pray that my worries would be taken away. Sure enough everything turned out to be good and worrying did not help. The counterpart of not worrying is holding on tight to the faith I have faith knowing that God will give me favor every step of the way. Just as I declared that faith so it happened.
Days and months have gone by and I still can't believe how time flew. I find myself walking in this city, however long it took me, amazed at how God has worked in my life the past months. My adventures of job hunting, cultural adjustments, friendship building, and heart shaping in this country where I was born, is soon to end, for another journey to begin. I have become more brave and more confident to face whatever struggle and difficulties might lead me as I discover my purpose. I have known by practical experience how God reveals Himself and His love during these times that I have nothing to fear.
Things did not work out as I had planned. Nevertheless, things worked out for the better when I had let God execute His plan because I knew He has a purpose. I don't know what would have happened if I insisted to do what I want. Not going on as planned is so humbling.  Not only personally but also in front of the people around me. It's also hard to know you are doing what you have to do and but being unable to explain it to the people; many of them don't understand. In the end, it's all going to be worth it, (actually even along the process).

I had planned to get a job that will let me earn and at the same time meet people I can share my faith with. God had planned for me to be of service to different friends around the area and at the Pregnancy Care Center that ministers to young women for free.
I had planned to get the money from what I will save to support my desire for training in Asia inclusive of plain ticket and all expenses. God had planned to surprise me each time by providing different people who would just give gifts enough to provide for what I need.

I do not regret going here even if it seemed nothing for others. I wouldn't trade this experience at this point of time with anything else in the world knowing "For such a time as this..." (Esther 3) God had a plan.

Restoration: a need to keep moving

When we mess up or things in our life mess up, God is there to rescue us from going deeper in the messy life through restoration. Restoration is often defined as renewal, revival, and reestablishment (dictionary.com). When we are discouraged, pressed down, or feeling lifeless we need restoration. Restoration is like the dropping of snow that adds beauty to the trees and at the same time produces water for the earth.

Isaiah 55:10 ,  ^"For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

The best restoration we could ever receive is one that comes from God. There are different ways God restores us and believe it comes from one level to another.

How does God restore us?
1. He calls our attention.
2. He reminds us of the importance of living for him and following His directions.
3. He cleanses us from our sins and forgives us for the mistakes we have made.
4. He heals us from the hurtful experiences and words that we have encountered through our journeys.
5. He establishes us back on track with His will and provides all that we need in fulfilling His calling for us.
6. Above all, He always shows us that He is God no one else.

Restoration requires action on both God and us. We have steps to take to experience the restoration fully.
1. Admitting we messed up and that we cannot do it on our own.
2. Listening to what God has to say.
3. Be willing to face the consequences of our mistakes.
4. Walk with God into where he leads you.
5. Accept the blessings of His restoration and be thankful to Him about it.

We are responsible to keep walking with Him to keep experiencing the blessings of His restoration.
To keep on moving to the next steps of God's purposes for us we need to be restored, renewed, and reestablished. From broken to whole. From impure to pure. From darkness to light. From sadness to joy.

 These I have learned from my readings in the book of Ezekiel and personal experience.